My Best Friend's Boyfriend
by confessionsofateenagefangirl
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy is easily the most insufferable, arrogant, irritating git that I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. He's also my best friend's boyfriend. Well, this should be fun.


"Rosie, I'm in love!"

Thirteen times she's said that this year, and it's only March.

_March._

I love Alice Woods, I really do, but it would be a downright lie to say she didn't have a problem.

Forgive me if I don't sound very interested in my best friend's romantic life, but when it changes faster than Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers in this school, it can be a little hard to keep up with.

Especially when, well, she doesn't exactly have a _type._

For example, last year she was in love with David Ackerly. David Ackerly is gorgeous, he really is, and with reasonable grades and a good sense of humour, I do understand why she fell for him (_I use the that term loosely_). Except, it got a bit weird. At first, it was just a case of checking the same book out of the library that she had seen him reading, which I suppose is fair as she wanted to know what his interests were. She also always made sure that her hair and makeup were perfect the days that we had Transfiguration (the class David Ackerly also takes). Simple stuff to get her noticed, I suppose.

But then, it got creepy. She started to hang out at all the places she knew he would be, talking to his friends, and she even knew his timetable off by heart. It was definitely verging on stalking, if it wasn't already. However, no matter how many times I brought it up to her, she would just shrug it off and say that she knew what she was doing.

But, out of all of that, the thing I still to this day do not understand is that even after _all that effort_, she didn't know that he had a girlfriend.

Yeah.

That one came as a massive shock.

Oh well, she got over it, and fell in love with someone new the next week.

There was also the time she fancied Lorcan Scamander, and believe me when I say that I love him with all of my heart, however, there is no denying that the boy is not odd. Charming and cute in his own way, yes, but I would never have pictured him and Alice together in a million years. Not that I told her that, obviously, because she tends not to take it well when I question her one true love(s).

This relationship started out the same way the last one had, the making an effort, the laughing at all of his jokes (even the ones she didn't understand, which trust me, happened a lot with Lorcan). She even forced me to join the Care of Magical Creatures after-class club for a few weeks just because Lorcan was a member. Thankfully though, because _I am not an animal person in the slightest_, this relationship did not last very long either.

Lorcan, as it so happens, is _gay._

Which definitely ruined her plan for them to live happily ever after, at least a little bit.

Also, let's not forget about the time that she thought she had found her soul-mate in Teddy Lupin because she thought that she had interpreted it in her tea leaves in Divination.

Victoire was not pleased about that one.

But despite that, Alice went on, convinced that her and Teddy were meant to be together and that Victoire was just blocking their path to what my best friend clearly thought was an epic and forbidden love, like that Muggle play Romeo and Juliet.

Eventually, however, I managed to put an end to it by telling her that Teddy didn't believe in handbags. Now I have no clue how my cousin feels about small sacks of fabric that hold all of your possessions, but my best friend doesn't have to know that. I just pray to Merlin that Alice hadn't been round at Christmas the year that Teddy had bought Victoire a very expensive bag from Madam Malkins.

At any rate, Alive was shocked at this revelation and claimed that she must have read her tea leaves wrong, because someone who was her soulmate could _never_ be against handbags.

And then, everyone was happy again.

I could go on and on and on about the many loves of Alice Woods, but I really don't have the time or the energy. Or the memory for that matter.

"Rosie?"

Oh shit, I forgot she was talking.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear me? I've fallen in love." I look up at my best friend, who has this massive grin on her face and a tinge of red on her cheeks.

A look I know all too well.

"Who's the unlucky guy this time?"

Alice shoots me a look, sticking her tongue out, and sits on my bed, forcing me to listen to her. "_Ha ha_," she says, sarcastically, but doesn't look overly bothered by my response.

I wrinkle my nose. "It's not Evan Taylor, is it?"

"Merlin, no, Rosie!" And I am thankful to see that she looks as though she is about to be sick. "He still picks his nose!"

"Well, you can never be too sure with you," I joke, and Alice playfully nudges me in the arm.

"Are you going to keep guessing, or can I just tell you?"

"Fine," I say, grinning. "Who is he?"

Drum roll please.

"It's Scorpius Malfoy!"

Oh for the love of Merlin.

Scorpius Malfoy is a dick, and that's one of the nicest words I have for him. Sure, he's extremely popular, rich, intelligent, charming, and looks as though he was crafted by angels, but let me tell you, he knows it.

He's also an asshole, annoying, arrogant, an air head, and these are only ones that begin with the letter A.

I have a whole alphabet that I could use to convey to you why I detest Scorpius Malfoy.

However, I'm not sure Alice will appreciate that much, so I won't.

"That's- great!" I say, trying to sound as happy as I can for my best friend. Because really, it's not me who has to date the bloke.

She beams at me. "You think? I mean, I've never really spoken to him, but Merlin, Rosie, he's got this smile, and when he smiles it's like he's smiling only at me and…"

I resign myself to a night of hearing why Alice thinks that Scorpius Malfoy is the epitome of perfection, and hope that she gets tired before she gets to the end of what I'm sure is a very extensive list.

"And his arse, Rosie! Merlin, his arse."

The sooner I can get to sleep, the better.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hi! I hope you like the first chapter of MBFB! I got the inspiration to do this a while ago, but I finally have time to actually write it. The good thing about this story is that the chapters won't be too long and I can update often, but also that the plot will be very lighthearted and more to do with humour and romance than hard-hitting plots and stuff._

_Feedback is very much appreciated, as I'd love to know what you think. I realise that I've only covered two of the characters so far, but Scorpius will appear in the next chapter, and that should hopefully be written in the next week.p_

_Reviews are tea when you have the cold._


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